Underestimated. Overlooked. Now I’m Telling Everyone ALL The Things!

Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu Reveals
The No-BS Marketing Playbook for Practitioners & Coaches Who Just Want More Patients
(Without Losing Their Minds)

 500 FREE Copies Available: The Survival Guide for Escaping the Marketing Jungle (Without Getting Eaten Alive).

 Limited FREE Copies Available! 
Supplies are going fast!

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Possibly the Funniest (and Most Brutally Honest) Marketing Book for Practitioners and Coaches Ever Written…

Warning: May Cause Sudden Business Growth, Hysterical Laughter, and the Urge to Buy a Muumuu.

From the Desk of Dr. Z
Somewhere Hot & Humid
Hair in Full Frizz Mode
March 2025
____________________________

Dear Sleepless, Stressed, and (Let’s Be Honest) Slightly Exhausted Entrepreneur,

This will be the best, most real book on marketing you will ever read! Here's how I know...

You started this business for freedom.

For flexibility.

For the chance to actually help people—instead of grinding away at a soul-sucking job that made you want to scream into a decorative throw pillow.

But instead of running a thriving, booked-out practice…

🔹 You’re exhausted from trying to get clients.
🔹 You feel like you're shouting into the void on social media.
🔹 You’re wasting money on marketing that doesn’t work.
🔹 You’re this close to ditching it all and selling herbal tea out of a van.

I get it.
Because not too long ago, I was sitting in my humid little corner of the world…

Wearing a muumuu.

(With biker shorts underneath—because if my thighs rubbed together any harder, I was going to start a fire.)

And I was wondering the same thing you're wondering now:

Why do some people build million-dollar businesses… while others struggle just to get noticed?
💡 Spoiler: It wasn’t a mindset issue.

I had the skills. The training. The ability to change people’s lives.

But no one knew I existed.

That’s when I stopped throwing spaghetti at the marketing wall…

Dove deep into the real strategies that actually work…

And cracked the code.

Here’s what happened next:

✔️ I grew my business by 150X.
✔️ I landed in an eight-figure boardroom full of internet bros in tight t-shirts.
✔️ I helped thousands of practitioners, coaches, and business owners get clients—
WITHOUT:
❌ Begging for clients in random Facebook groups
❌ Sliding into DMs with a cold pitch
❌ Using 37 hashtags in every post

And now?

I’m handing that system to you.

Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu isn’t just another marketing book.

It’s your no-B.S. survival guide for growing a business, getting clients, and making money—without losing your mind or your dignity.

What You’ll Learn Inside This Book:
✔️ How to attract actual paying clients instead of “broke maybes.”
✔️ The secret to standing out (even if you’re not a fitness influencer named Chad).
✔️ Why traditional marketing advice is mostly trash—and what actually works.
✔️ The one strategy that will transform your business faster than any funnel.
✔️ How to do all of this without wasting money, burning out, or selling your soul.

So Here’s My Loving-But-Firm Challenge to You:
You can keep guessing, struggling, and “hoping” people magically find you.

Or…

You can grab this book and follow a proven strategy that actually works.
Your choice.

But if you’re even slightly curious, hit the button below.

Because trust me…

💰 More clients.
💰 More money.
💰 More freedom to build your business your way.

…is way better than another day of wondering what you’re doing wrong.

Now, grab the book before I decide to raise the price or throw my laptop into the sea.

Hugs,
Dr. Z
CEO | The Dr. Z Functional Medicine Academy
Muumuu Enthusiast | Accidental Marketing Genius

👇 CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW
 Limited FREE Copies Available! Supplies are going fast!

What Makes This Book Different (And Why You Actually Need It)

Most Marketing Books Are Either Painfully Boring or Completely Useless.

Some are written by people who’ve never actually built a business.

Some are just 300 pages of fluff and buzzwords.

And some make you wonder if the author was actively trying to put you to sleep.

Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu is NONE of those things.

This book is for real practitioners, coaches, and entrepreneurs —people like you—who want to grow a business without:

❌ Waiting for the "perfect" moment to act
❌ Discounting your services into oblivion just to make a sale
❌Trying to be everywhere at once
It’s brutally honest.
Ridiculously practical.
And—dare I say—actually fun to read.

🚫 No gimmicks.
🚫 No outdated advice.
🚫 No “just manifest it” nonsense.

Just proven marketing strategies that work right now—delivered with a side of humor, real talk, and the occasional muumuu reference to help you navigate the marketing jungle.

Inside, You’ll Learn How to:
✔ Get dream patients (who don’t ghost you).
✔ Build a practice (without 80-hour weeks).
✔ Sell confidently (without feeling sleazy).
✔ Stand out (even if you feel invisible).
✔ Market yourself (without the cringe).

Most books tell you what to do.

This one tells you exactly how to do it—without overcomplicating things or making you feel like you need an MBA just to understand it.

🚨 Warning: If you’re looking for another dry, cookie-cutter marketing book… this isn’t it.

But if you’re ready to build a thriving business on your terms—this is your guide.

Who Is This Book For?

(A.K.A. Should You Buy This or Keep Struggling in Silence?)

Let’s Keep It Real: This Book Is Not for Everyone.

If you love:
✔ Making Canva posts no one sees.
✔ Hoping clients just “sense” you exist.
✔ Thinking “manifesting” is a strategy.
Then, my friend, this book is not for you.

However…
If you’ve ever thought:

"I should probably figure out this marketing thing before my bank account stages an intervention."

Then keep reading.

Because this book was made for:

The Practitioner Who’s Amazing at What They Do—But Nobody Knows They Exist.
✔ You’ve got the skills, the certifications, the results.
✔ Yet somehow, you're still the world’s most qualified secret.
✔ (And last I checked, secrets don’t pay the bills.)
The Business Owner Who’s Done “All the Things”… and Has Nothing to Show for It
✔ You’ve posted. You’ve advertised. You’ve tried everything.
✔ Facebook took your money. Instagram took your time.
✔ Your last resort? Handing out flyers like it’s 1997. (Please don’t.)

The Coach or Healer Who’s Ready to Make a Living—Not Just a Hobby
✔ You love helping people.
✔ But last I checked, passion doesn’t pay rent.
✔ It’s time to turn your calling into a real, thriving business.
The “I Swear I’m Not a Salesperson” Entrepreneur
✔ You’d rather DIY a root canal than “sell” anything.
✔ The thought of being pushy makes you break out in hives.
✔ Good news: No sleazy tactics required. Just marketing that actually works.

The Person Who Secretly Hopes They’ll Just “Get Discovered”
✔ Still waiting for Oprah to call?
✔ Banking on one viral TikTok?
✔ Love the dream—but this book will get you results way faster.
The Overthinker Who Spends More Time “Planning” Than Doing
✔ Got a folder full of marketing ideas?
✔ But… somehow, still no clients?
✔ Time to stop overthinking and start doing (without another Google spiral).

The Functional Medicine Practitioner Who’s Sick of Being Overlooked
✔ You change lives.
✔ You’re great at what you do.
✔ But if no one knows you exist? Nothing matters.
✔ This book shows you how to get noticed, get clients, and stay booked.

So… Should You Read This Book?

If you’re tired of:

Guessing

Hoping

Sending “please, Universe, just send me one good client” prayers into the void…

And you’re ready to actually know how to attract the right people—then yes.

Yes, you should read this book.

Yes, it will change the way you think about marketing.

Yes, it will make your business (and your life) easier.

And yes, you might start wearing a muumuu once you see how good success looks on you. 
Hurry, we only have so many FREE books!

For the Overlooked, the Underdogs, and the Ones Who Play by Their Own Rules—Here’s Your Playbook to Win

When I first walked into the 8-Figure Boardroom, I felt like an absolute imposter. 

I had barely qualified for the mastermind—just squeaked in by the skin of my teeth—and here I was, standing in a sea of confident, high-energy, tight-shirt-wearing “bros” who all seemed to know each other. 

The kind of guys who hit the gym at 5 AM, close million-dollar deals by lunch, and celebrate with $6,000 tequila and cigars at night.
Meanwhile, I was just trying not to sweat through my muumuu.

And let’s be clear—the muumuu wasn’t a fashion statement. 

It was a survival mechanism. 

It was hot. I was dealing with the joys of menopause. Between the sweat and the friction, I was one step away from needing a fire extinguisher. So, muumuu it was.

I walked in, smiled, and… was largely ignored.

Oh, they were polite. 

But I wasn’t part of the club. 

I wasn’t a “known name.” 

No one was rushing over to shake my hand or ask me about my business. 

I sat toward the back, quietly observing, wondering if I had made a huge mistake.

But here’s the thing about being underestimated—it gives you the advantage of surprise.

Fast forward a few months. 

My business had exploded. 

That little “barely-qualifying” revenue? That was a joke compared to what happened next. I had gone all in. I had built the kind of business that demanded attention.

So, when I walked into the next mastermind, things were very different.

This time, I wasn’t in the back. I was at the golden table - which required a minimum of $1 million/month revenue and $68k to attend.
Success speaks louder than introductions. And while I may have been ignored at first, the proof is in the pudding and the numbers don't lie.

Lesson learned? You don’t have to fit in. You just have to win.

Lost in the Marketing Jungle?

This Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu Is Handing You the Map to a Thriving Business.

No Gimmicks, No Guesswork.

Dr. Z Cracked the Code on Building a Wildly Successful Business. Now She’s Handing You the Blueprint. (No Bro-Marketing Required).

Limited FREE Copies Available! Supplies are going fast

Cracking Open the Vault: A Tiny Tease of 326 Pages of Marketing Gold

I can’t spill all the secrets right here (what fun would that be?), but I will give you a little sneak peek.

Think of this as the appetizer before the full buffet of marketing gold waiting inside.

Just know… these few sample pages barely scratch the surface. The real game-changing stuff? That’s inside the whole 326-page beast.
Here’s Just a Small Fraction of the Gold You’ll Find Inside This Book...

📈 The "Climb Higher" Growth Game – Scaling your business shouldn’t feel like an uphill battle. This framework turns it into a strategic, winnable game. (Page 33)

💰 The 3x10 Approach – A shockingly simple way to generate consistent revenue and steady client flow—without working 80-hour weeks. (Page 39)

⏳ The "Rx5" Formula – Structure your business so you actually have time to enjoy life, charge what you're worth, and serve clients at the highest level. (Page 81)

🛑 How to Market Like a Pro (Without Feeling Like a Pushy Salesperson) – Say goodbye to cringe-worthy sales tactics and hello to marketing that feels good—for you and your future clients. (Page 90)

🙌 The “Lucky Few” Advantage – Why This Is the Best Time in History to Build Your Own Practice (Page 4)

💸 The Reality Check About Running Ads – Before you spend a dime, read this. It’ll save you thousands and prevent the frustration of wasted ad spend. (Page 264)

🔥 The 3 Marketing Temperatures – Hot, warm, and cold leads: Why you’re probably saying the wrong things to the wrong people (and how to fix it). (Page 157)

🚩 6 Ways to "Wave Your Flag" & Stop Being the Best-Kept Secret – Whether you’re a coach, a practitioner, or a service-based entrepreneur, this is how you finally get noticed. (Page 166)

💀 Avoiding Common Marketing Mistakes That Are Costing You Thousands – If you’re doing any of these, you’re probably repelling clients without even realizing it. (Page 287)

🏆 The Quickstart Guide: 6 Weeks to $30k FAST– Need cash flow now? This roadmap walks you through the exact steps to make it happen. (Page 272)

🙌 The "Effortless Enrollment" Strategy – Fill your calendar without begging, chasing, or feeling like you’re one rejection away from crying into a pint of ice cream. (Page 109)

🧘 Why "Manifesting More Clients" is NOT a Strategy – Look, I love a good vision board… but if you’re not taking real action, your bank account will stay exactly the same. (Page 7)

🤖 The AI-Powered Marketing Playbook – How to leverage artificial intelligence to create high-converting ads, content, and copy—without sounding like a robot. (Page 196)

🚀 And SO much more…
This isn’t just a book—it’s a business breakthrough waiting to happen.

And it’s written for you—the practitioner, the coach, the expert who’s tired of guessing and ready to grow the right way.

The only question is… are you ready to actually do this?

(If yes, hit that big, shiny button and grab your copy now.) 

Here’s a little more of what is waiting for you in the book:

📉 Marketing in a Trust Recession (Page 129) – People are skeptical. Here’s how to earn their trust—and their business.

🏆 The 4 Marketing Angles Used by Billion-Dollar Companies (Page 135) – Stop guessing. This is what actually works.

👀 How to Reach the 60% of the Market Your Competitors Are Ignoring (Page 147) – While they fight over scraps, you take the gold.

💸 The Key Shift in Online Marketing You Must Know Right NOW (Page 188) – The difference between skyrocketing success and a terrifying CAC (cost to acquire a client).

✉️ The 3-Email Webinar Invite Series That Gets Signups (Page 208) – No more crickets. Here’s how to fill your event.

📝 The Magic Marketing Words (Page 218) – Yep, I gave you 300 of them. Use these, watch engagement soar.

🚫 Why Most Practitioners Will NEVER Run Ads (Page 239) – And what you must do before you even think about it.

🔄 Patient Renewals, Subscriptions & Monthly Recurring Revenue (Page 250) – Beyond chasing new patients and start building predictable income.

⚖️ HIPAA Compliance, FDA, FTC & What You Can (and Can’t) Say (Page 269) – Because "oops, I didn’t know" won’t save you from hot water.

This Book Slashes Through the Marketing Jungle—Clearing the Path to More Clients, More Freedom, and a Business That Actually Thrives.

No fluff. No filler. No 300-page motivational monologue that leaves you fired up but still broke.

Just straight-up, hard-hitting, this-actually-works strategies to get more clients, grow your practice, and stop feeling like you're shouting into the void while the algorithm laughs at you.

This book doesn’t waste time. It gets to the good stuff fast.

Because let’s be real—you don’t need another “just manifest it” pep talk.

You need a real system. A step-by-step, practitioner-proof marketing playbook that actually works for healers, coaches, and entrepreneurs. You need to know how to:

✔ Get in front of the right people.
✔ Get them to pay attention.
✔ Get them to take action.

And in most cases? You can do it without spending another dime on ads.

(Though fair warning: Once you see how simple and predictable this system is, you might actually want to throw some money at ads—because suddenly, they’ll work. 

Like a machete cutting straight through the marketing jungle. And yes, I break it all down in the book.)

🕷 What This Book Is NOT (Because False Promises Are Worse Than a Giant Jungle Spider Crawling Up Your Neck)

🚫 It’s NOT a book full of outdated, recycled marketing nonsense. (“Build it and they will come” is a lie. Stop listening to broke business coaches on Instagram.)

🚫 It’s NOT a thinly veiled sales pitch. There is no secret upsell lurking at the end of the book. (Gasp! A book that actually delivers what it promises? Wild, I know.)

🚫 It’s NOT a sad excuse for a “lead generation book” that could have been a blog post. Nope. This is the real deal—a full-blown no-B.S. playbook packed with the exact marketing strategies that work in 2025.

And listen, they say the more you give, the more you get.

Well, I want to get a LOT. So I’m giving you a LOT in this book.

(Some say I’m giving too much. To which I say: shhh… let’s just keep that between us.)

And that’s just the beginning.

Let's take a few steps back…

It Was a Hot, Humid Day in the Caribbean…

How I Accidentally Became a Marketing Powerhouse (While Sweating Through Menopause and Playing a Ukulele on Zoom)

Not too long ago, I was sitting in my new home, drenched in sweat, hair staging a full-scale rebellion, wondering if I had just ruined my life.

Because in the span of a year, I had:
✅ Moved to a new country at 49.
✅ Hit 50 like a freight train—hello, menopause.
✅ Decided this was the moment to go all-in on my business.

No safety net. No backup plan. Just a middle-aged mama in a muumuu, a laptop, and a dog judging me as I attempted a new Facebook ad.

No production team. No marketing team.

So naturally, I did what any completely unqualified entrepreneur who hates video would do:

I grabbed a ukulele, turned on Zoom, and threw together the most chaotic, low-budget ad you’ve ever seen.
And yet…

Somehow, against all bro marketing logic and reason, that cheesy little ad hit nearly six figures in its first month.

Clients started rolling in. Momentum took off. My business went from “maybe I should grow a little” to thriving.

Next thing I knew, I had scaled so fast that I bought my way into that 8-figure boardroom I told you about.

Now, did I fit in with the tequila-sipping, gym-loving, studly men in their tight t-shirts?

Nope.

But I had something even better: a marketing system that actually worked.

A system that no one else teaches—because no one else actually figured it out.

It’s been my secret weapon for nearly 20 years.
It’s why, no matter what program I joined, I was always the #1 student. The one breaking records. The one getting results that even the "experts" weren’t getting themselves.

And now?

I’m handing that same system to you.

The very same strategy that helped me outperform entire masterminds, crush every challenge, and turn my business into a marketing machine.

For the first time ever, I’m giving it all away.

And you, my friend, get to be the one who finally stops guessing and starts winning.

Since Then, I’ve Been Called a Lot of Things…

Some flattering. Some… well, let’s just say, the internet isn’t always kind to a middle-aged woman in a muumuu teaching marketing.

But I’ve also been featured on some of the biggest stages and platforms in business, alongside the so-called "marketing greats."

I’ve been invited to exclusive masterminds, rubbing elbows with internet-famous entrepreneurs (most of whom have no idea how to talk to women over 40 unless it’s their mom).

I built the fastest-growing functional medicine education company and scaled 150x in one year.

I earned the prestigious 2 Comma Club Award—which means my marketing methods generated over $1,000,000 in sales online in one funnel (7x over actually!)

And while I wasn’t featured next to Tony Robbins or Richard Branson (yet), I did sit at a table next to a guy who made millions selling beard oil. (BEARD OIL!)

So yeah, marketing works when you know what you’re doing.

And listen—I don’t tell you this to humblebrag (or full-on brag).
I tell you this because I started with nothing.
No connections. No fancy marketing team. No "bro-network" to launch me.

Just a good offer, a solid strategy, and marketing that actually converts.

And This System? It’s 100% Legit (No Selling Your Soul Required).

This isn’t a shady internet hack.

It’s not some “fake scarcity” sales nonsense.

And it doesn’t involve convincing people to buy things they don’t need.

This is real marketing that actually finds the right people and helps them say YES—without begging, without awkward sales tactics, and without feeling like a sleazy internet dude.

And the crazy thing?

Almost nobody is doing this.

What are they doing?

Oh, just throwing money into ads with zero strategy, desperately DM’ing strangers, and slapping generic posts on social media, wondering why nobody is booking.

Which is exactly why YOU have the advantage.

Because you’re about to get your hands on the real marketing system.

And once you do?

Well… let’s just say, your biggest problem will be handling the flood of new clients.

I Hacked My Way Through the Marketing Jungle… Now I’m Handing You the Map.

This book isn’t just a collection of theories. It’s the exact marketing playbook that helped me go from totally unknown to running a multi-million-dollar business in record time.

Not because I had connections.
Not because I had unlimited resources.
Not because I was a marketing genius. (Well, maybe? lol!)

But because I figured out what works, what doesn’t, and how to market a service-based business the right way.

And now, you get to skip the mistakes, the stress, and the wasted time—and go straight to the part where your business actually grows.

So Let’s Get to Work.
ONLY 500 FREE Copies Available - Order Now!

Here’s What to Do Next

Alright, friend. Let’s make a deal.

I’ll cover the cost of the book.

You just chip in a small fee for shipping and handling, and we’ll get this baby into your hands ASAP—anywhere in the world.

💥 Yes, I’m literally giving it away.
💥 Yes, it’s packed with 326 pages of marketing magic.
💥 Yes, I could charge way more for this, but I won’t—because I know how much this book can change things for you.

And before you ask—yes, you can read it on your Kindle while sipping wine in bed, we have that option too.

Once you pop your details into the order form below, choose your format:

📖 Physical Copy – Hold it, flip through it, highlight your favorite bits, and keep it within arm’s reach for business emergencies. (I ship to you)
📱 E-Book – Download instantly and start reading before your coffee even gets cold (we send to you through Amazon Kindle)

So go ahead—choose your format and let’s get this thing in your hands.

🚀 Click the button below, grab your copy, and let’s get to work.

Supplies are limited! Really, how often do you get a free book?

There Is Absolutely No Catch, Whatsoever! (Pinky Promise)

I get it—this might sound like one of those “too good to be true” situations.

You’re probably thinking…

→ Is this one of those internet traps where I buy a book, and suddenly my credit card is funding an offshore sneaker factory?

→ Am I about to wake up in a $999 mindset program I don’t remember signing up for?

→ Will I have to call my bank and say, ‘No, I did not voluntarily subscribe to 27 monthly charges from a guy named Chad’?

Totally fair questions. The internet is wild these days.

But here’s the deal:

✅ No gimmicks.
✅ No fine print.
✅ No sneaky, recurring charges lurking in the shadows like a jungle predator waiting to pounce—or a mysterious vine that wraps around your ankle when you least expect it.

I’m literally just giving you this book for free because I know what’s inside will change the way you market forever.

All I ask is that you chip in for the shipping.

That’s it. No tricks, no traps—just 326 pages of actually useful marketing strategies that’ll finally help you get the clients you deserve.

So go ahead—grab your copy, and let’s do this.

Why Am I Giving This Book Away 100% Free of Charge?

There are actually two reasons…

1) Because you shouldn’t have to waste time and money figuring this out on your own.
Most practitioners, coaches, and entrepreneurs aren’t struggling because they’re bad at what they do. They’re struggling because no one ever taught them how to get clients.

They’re following generic, outdated advice.

Throwing money at marketing that doesn’t work.

And spending hours on strategies that make them want to stab their eyes out with a dry-erase marker.

And honestly? That’s not their fault.

Because the truth is, most business courses don’t teach real-world marketing. 

And the ones that do? 

They usually leave out the actual revenue-generating pieces—unless you fork over another $20K for the “advanced” training.

I don’t want that for you.

So instead of watching another brilliant practitioner burn out trying to “figure it out,” I’m handing you the real playbook.

Because success isn’t about trying everything—it’s about knowing what works and doing more of that.
2) Because I’d rather show you this works than try to convince you.

Let’s be real.

I could write a long, compelling sales page (ahem...) about how these strategies will change your life.

Or, I could just hand you the system that’s already helped thousands of practitioners, coaches, and business owners book more clients, make more money, and build a practice that actually feels good to run.

So, here’s the deal:

→ If you’re tired of guessing how to get clients…

→ If you’re done “hoping” people will just magically find you…

→ If you’re ready to finally have a marketing plan that makes sense and works…

Then this book is for you.

And look, maybe you’ll grab it, use it, and we’ll never talk again.

Or maybe you’ll read it, apply it, and realize you finally cracked the code on this whole marketing thing.

Either way, this book stands on its own.

No fluff. No gimmicks. No “wait, what’s the catch?” moments.

Just real strategies that actually work.

And right now, you can get it for free.

That said…
FREE Books are limited to 500 - Request Your Copy Now!

Here’s Why You Need to Act Now…

This Offer Is Going, Going… Gone?

We’re giving away 500 free copies of this book. Once they’re claimed? That’s it. No more freebies. No do-overs. No “Wait, I was just about to order!”

After that, you can still get the book—but at full price.

And if you’ve tried ordering literally anything in the past few years (lumber, eggs, a couch that didn’t take 9 months to arrive), you know that restocking is not exactly speedy these days.

So if this page is still live? Congratulations! You’ve made it through the jungle and found the golden treasure. Cue the slow clap.

BUT—before you start celebrating…

I reserve the right to pull this offer down at any time. No warning. No “last call” email. Just poof, vanished into the abyss, like that one sock in every laundry cycle.

So if you’re even thinking about getting this book? Do it now.

Otherwise, you’ll be more lost than a marketer without WiFi, sweatier than a menopausal muumuu-wearer in the jungle, and more frustrated than a business owner trying to decode a Facebook algorithm update.

And honestly? You deserve better than that.

Free Bonus #1: 

"10 Patients in 30 Days" Training

(Because a Thriving Practice Shouldn’t Be a Mystery…)

As a FREE bonus, I’m giving you an exclusive, no-fluff training that walks you step-by-step through exactly how to attract 10+ new, high-value patients in just 30 days—without relying on ads, a big audience, or feeling salesy.

🚨 It's a fast power hour of information from yours truly:

✅ A Proven System for Rapid Growth – The exact steps to bring in 10+ patients in 30 days, even if you’re starting from scratch. Forget complicated marketing strategies—this works without ads or a big following.

✅ The Key to Effortless Sales – Discover how to get patients to say “YES” without feeling pushy, awkward, or salesy—so you can grow your practice with confidence and ease.

✅ The Formula for Predictable Success – A numbers-based approach that makes patient attraction consistent and reliable—because success isn’t luck, it’s a strategy.

✅ The #1 Mistake Holding You Back – Most practitioners unknowingly sabotage their success. Learn what’s keeping patients from booking—and how to fix it instantly.

And because I refuse to just throw a book at you and disappear into the marketing abyss… you’re also getting instant, on-demand access to this training that actually shows you how to use this stuff.

No waiting. No fluff. No “sign up and maybe I’ll email you later” nonsense.

Just press play, grab a notebook, and let me walk you through the exact steps to start attracting patients today—pajamas and snack breaks fully encouraged.

Free Bonus #2: 

The Ideal Patient Formula Handout

(Because Knowing Your Ideal Patients Changes EVERYTHING…)

A Bonus So Good, I Should Probably Charge for It… But You’re Getting It FREE.

When you grab Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu, you’re also getting the 3-Step Ideal Patient Formula Handout—a ridiculously useful resource pulled from my bestselling McGraw-Hill book, How to Read a Client From Across the Room PLUS brand-new Character Code Marketing insights!

This is not in the MMM book. It’s not something you can just Google. And it’s definitely not another “just visualize success” pep talk.

These handouts contain my "secret sauce" that has allowed me to be the #1 success in every coaching program I've ever done...

What You’ll Unlock Inside:

✅ The Character Code System – Why most practitioners market to the wrong patients (and how to fix it).

✅ Why Some Patients Ghost You—And Others Hang on Every Word – The hidden compliance patterns that no one talks about.

✅ How to Speak Your Patient’s Language – Say what they need to hear to actually take action.

✅ The #1 Mistake That’s Killing Your Bookings—And How to Fix It – Because no one went into practice to chase people down like an unpaid intern.

This Is Not Just a “Nice Bonus”—It’s a Cheat Sheet for Patient Attraction.
✔ Improve patient outcomes
✔ Boost retention & compliance
✔ Make your practice run smoother (and your sanity stay intact)

And the best part? It’s 100% FREE when you grab the Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu book today.

Hit the button below and start using the Ideal Patient Formula to fill your practice!
It's a really good book!

Free Bonus #3: 

The Rockstar Business & Marketing Event for Practitioners & Coaches

($97 VIP Ticket—Yours FREE!)

If Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu is the playbook, this bootcamp is the live, no-holds-barred experience where we bring it to life.

🚀 This is THE must-attend business and marketing event in Functional Medicine, health, and wellness. It’s three days of real strategies, real coaching, and real breakthroughs—all from the comfort of your home (muumuu optional).

No fluff. No theory. Just me, live, walking you through the exact system I used to grow my practice by 150X—with plenty of time for Q&A, hot seat coaching, and VIP-only bonus trainings that take things even deeper.

By Day 3? You won’t just think differently—you’ll be different.

Your VIP Ticket Includes:
✅ Kickoff Training – Exclusive VIP-only session to jumpstart your success.
✅ Hot Seat Coaching & Live Q&A – Get personal feedback on your practice.
✅ Bonus Training on Day 2 – Advanced strategies not covered in the main event.
✅ Wrap-Party & Final VIP Training – Lock in your next steps & set yourself up to win.
✅ The Marketing Map That Took Me from $0 to $7M in a Year – Learn it. Apply it. Change everything.
✅ VIP-Only Networking – Connect with ambitious practitioners who actually take action.

This Is Your Moment.

You could keep struggling to “figure it out”… or you could secure your VIP spot now and get a front-row seat to the most powerful, action-packed training in the industry.

The next bootcamp date will be emailed to you after you grab your book—but your VIP ticket locks in your spot.

💥 Grab Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu today on this page to claim your FREE VIP pass! 💥

Tired of Getting Mauled by the Marketing Jungle? Grab the Map (and All the Bonuses) for FREE!

If running your practice feels like hacking through the marketing jungle with a pool noodle, I have good news: You don’t have to do this the hard way.

📖 Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu is your survival guide—full of real, no-BS marketing strategies that actually work for practitioners, coaches, and entrepreneurs.

And because I refuse to let another talented business owner get eaten alive by bad advice, I’m giving you three epic bonuses:

🎥 The “10 Patients in 30 Days” Patient-Attraction Training – The exact step-by-step system to bring in 10+ new patients—without ads, an audience, or awkward sales tactics.

📝 The Ideal Patient Formula – How to attract the right patients (you know, the ones who actually follow your advice and don’t ghost you after one visit).

🎟 A VIP Ticket to The Healer’s Business Bootcamp – The #1 business and marketing event for practitioners—three days of LIVE coaching, hands-on strategy, and growth breakthroughs. Attend virtually, implement in real-time, and guaranteed you’ll be a different person by Day 3.

All of this? FREE. Just cover shipping for the book. No weird charges, no fine print, and definitely no “mystery” subscriptions that show up on your credit card six months later.

🚨 Only 500 copies available. After that, the book goes back to full price and the bonuses vanish into the jungle mist.

So what’s it going to be?

Keep wandering in circles, wondering why nothing is working?

Or grab the book, the strategy, the VIP ticket, and the marketing shortcut that’ll actually get you more patients?

👉 Hit the button and claim your copy before it disappears!
We only have a limited supply of books that we are giving out for free.

🌻THIS IS A VERY LIMITED OFFER

*Middle-Aged Mama in a Muumuu retails for $17.99 and this free book offer includes the physical paperback book (or digital book), plus the 3 bonuses listed above. We just ask that you cover the shipping and handling for the book. Your information is secure and will not be shared. There is a limited amount of free books available, currently set at only 500.
So, here we are. You, me, and this wildly underappreciated muumuu moment.

If you’ve made it this far, you’ve got two choices:

1️⃣ Close this page and go back to figuring it all out on your own.
2️⃣ Grab the book, snag the bonuses, and let’s finally make your marketing (and your practice) work FOR you instead of against you.

Either way, I appreciate you. But if I had to bet… I’d say future-you would REALLY appreciate having this book in your hands.

So, let’s do this.

Grab your copy, get the bonuses, and let’s shake up this industry together.

Hugs,
Dr. Z
Muumuu Enthusiast | Accidental Marketing Genius | Making Marketing Fun Again
P.S.

Ahhh, you made it to the PS section. Welcome, weary traveler.

In case you scrolled past everything above (bold move, I respect it), here’s the deal:

I’m mailing you a real, hold-it-in-your-hands copy of my incredible marketing book—the exact playbook that helped me (and thousands of others) escape the marketing jungle, dodge the overpriced “experts,” and build a business that actually makes money (without selling our souls).

The book is free for the first 500 people—all I ask is you help out with the small shipping and handling fee. That’s it. No gimmicks. No fine print. No “but wait, there’s more” nonsense.

Just a proven system that works—even if marketing has always felt like trying to start a fire with two wet sticks.
P.P.S.
Still here? You must be waiting for a sign from the universe.

Here it is: 🪧 THIS IS YOUR SIGN. 🪧

Also, fun fact—this is a limited offer. Once these first 500 free books are gone, they’re gone. And unlike those marketing bros who scream "LAST CHANCE" every other week, I actually mean it.

So if you even think you might want this, grab it now.

P.P.P.S.

If you’re still reading, one of the following is true:

A) You overanalyze everything and read every word before making a decision.
B) You’re avoiding something less fun (taxes? EMR setup? Trying to explain to your aunt what you do for a living?).
C) You’re hoping I’ll sweeten the deal with a free toucan.

Look, I can’t give you a toucan, but I can give you a marketing strategy that makes your business actually work.

✅ If you want more clients, more income, and fewer sleepless nights… get the book.
✅ If you’re tired of feeling like the best-kept secret in your industry… get the book.
✅ If you’re skeptical (totally fair) and need to see for yourself… get the book.

And if you somehow hate it? I’ll even refund your shipping—no need to send it back. That’s how sure I am.

Now, hit the button before I change my mind and run off to live in the jungle with my pack of well-groomed dogs.

Carpe diem, my friend.
Toucan not included.
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